YOU changed ME.
“Wow! Hello there, who are you? Based on your vibe, you are a student.”
“Those bracelets, hey jangle! You like a little attention”
Yes, you read that right. These are some of the opening narrations of Joe Goldberg from the trending Netflix’s series YOU. I don’t know why, but these dialogues immediately caught my attention and engaged me to watch the complete episode without even being distracted.
“Account set to be public, you want to be seen, heard, known.”
The fact is, these are not only the narrations, but these are also the hidden thoughts of every single person. We post our pictures on social media platforms, we update our followers about our every single activity. Why? Because we all want to get recognized, we want people to give us their attention, we want us to be heard and we want people to know who we are and how we spend our life.
That’s what the case of Guinevere Beck- who is a lead character of this psychological thriller series and get dangerously stalked by Joe Goldberg.
Joe Goldberg is a very dramatic, interesting and a powerful lead character. His narrations are one of the most amazing parts of the series which sounds little awkward sometimes (to me at least). I know it shouldn’t be because we all narrate everything we see, everything we feel. Don’t we? But when we hear someone saying an odd thing, we feel little confused, disgraced, unamused and uncomfortable. It’s natural.
“You smiled, you told your name, you asked mine,”
Beck was a lively good-looking girl, she wanted to be the part of a famous poet community and she was struggling to be the one. She was open-minded, communicative, and a well-mannered person who smiled at him told her name and inquired his- just like every good and civilized person does.
But she was perceived wrongly. It made him realized that she is encouraging him to follow her, to know her, and to chase her up till the end.
This was the first meeting of Joe and Beck.
And after that, Joe crossed every limit of obsession. Even he touched the heights of obsession in all the ten episodes. He becomes infatuated with Beck. Yes, I’ll use the word ‘infatuation’ rather than ‘love’. Because he never loved Beck, he wanted her to fall in love with him, he wanted to be around her, and he wanted to remove every single person from her life who was not living according to her standards.
You must be thinking about the reason behind such weird behavior.
Was he mad? Was he a murderer? Or a psychopath? Who was Joe?
He was a dangerous stalker. But what circumstances lead to such behavior? Her ex-girlfriend Candice who cheated on him, or Mr. Mooney who disregarded him always?
There could be a lot of reasons responsible for such behavior.
But the fact is, nobody knows the actual reason even till the end of this whole series.
Joe was not a bad person. He was very kind to a kid Paco, to her mom Claudia and even to Karen who was her girlfriend after breaking up with Beck.
Karen was an ideal girlfriend, she made him feel special, and always took great care of him. However, Joe was not satisfied. He tried to be, but he failed. Because he always wanted Beck. The reason is, he was just obsessed with her. And he wasn’t ready to give someone her place in his life.
He continued to stalk…
He continued to infatuate…
And he continued to kill people…
That’s so cruel. Why we always run towards those who ignore us, disgrace us, and make us feel unimportant? And we don’t consider those who care for us and never leave us no matter what. That’s the real kind of love. The person who ignores us and makes us feel worthless can never love like the one who supports us, motivate us, and stand beside us no matter what the circumstances are.
Sometimes we feel, we are really in love with someone. We are impressed by their looks, by their kindness, by their gentle tone, and by their caring behavior. But at times, when they ignore you due to any reason, you feel lost, shattered and completely devastated. And after some time, when you are able to hold your broken pieces, you feel stronger than before, you feel confident, secure and more powerful. So where your love goes in all this process?
That’s what I really experienced at some period of my life.
And when I was able to hold myself after the loss, I asked the same question, where is the love gone in this process?
The fact is, there was no love from the start. You are just infatuated to someone, you are temporarily impressed by someone because they treated you better than many people in your past.
We need to understand the difference between love and infatuation. When you want someone, you care for their happiness first. You give them priority over everything. You stand beside them no matter what. You sacrifice your own happiness for them. And you can never imagine your life without them…!
Contrary to that, when you try to stalk, try to remove their loved ones from their life and exhaust them with your weird and annoying behavior-you are simply proving that you are just infatuated with them; just like the case of Joe and Beck.
When Beck came to know the reality of Joe, he found himself in danger. He tried to kill her and even changed the whole story by putting the therapist in danger.
Why? Because he proved he is selfish. He cares about him more than Beck. Was he really in love with her?
Still, Joe was liked and appreciated by millions of people, even I liked him because he was different. He resembles someone I interact daily. Other than that, he helped me learn a lot of things, especially the difference between love & infatuation.
He was not good, and he was not bad. The way he perceives things and the way he had been treated in his childhood, was the main thing behind such behavior.
And yes, the fun part is- after bearing so much pain, he didn’t change his lifestyle.
He was happy, he was satisfied- because he believed every relationship teaches you some bad things and some good things. But you should never stop loving people.
He never gave up. He continued living his life with the same spirit.
“Wow, Hello there! Who are you, you’ve got that hoody, you don’t want to be stared at? But your legs are bare, you like little attention.”