Some people have trouble letting go of things, whether it is pain, love, memories or even a little unpleasant moment. Unfortunately, I am one of them!
The fact is, holding onto something always holding you back from creating a strong sense of self, and I realized it too late.
Well, when it comes to talking about past moments, past memories and past years, our mind goes blank for a few seconds; we have all experienced it one time or another. And to recall those moments in your mind, sometimes give you a pleasant vibe or goosebumps too (depending upon your past experience.)
I have always heard that happy moments become less special when you talk about them, and strangely, I believe it too. So, I am not going to talk about the happy or sad moments, but just the things that helped me groom, that helped me transform, and made me a better person.
2019 was a beautiful year. I lived a dreamful life with my friends and family. I got a family, and friends who loved me and cared for me every minute. I went into 2019 with higher hopes, bigger goals, and the best intentions for myself. But in looking back, what I learned is that no matter what our intentions are, the universe at times has a different plan for us. And no matter how hard we push back, we are always met with a force that is greater than us.
I’ve never been an independent, emotionally strong, and introspective person. I make decisions intentionally and with conviction. I’ve always wanted to have these traits so I can face any kind of trouble, and uncertainty. But in 2019, some unexpected, and gloomy happenings changed my mind and perspective. Like, just at the start of the year, I faced huge disappointments, which I could have never imagined.
People came and left, and made me realize that daydreaming is definitely not working for me anymore and I really need to move on. I wanted to feel settled, secured, and confident, but I felt the exact opposite. My heart physically felt that it’s aching, nothing was working as planned. No, I was not lost. I just found myself in a position to make some strong decisions for the first time in my life. And guess what? That went well. I learned to become strong, introspective, and goal-oriented.
Looking back, I have chills thinking about some past moments. I can never count the moments when I felt helpless, I had a lack of enthusiasm and gratitude when it came to working and was looking at everything through a negative lens. And then just a little moment of success, motivated me to find something better.
Being a writer, I must say that a single word of appreciation and little recognition matters a lot not only for your career but for your healthy life too. You start seeing the good in everything and tend to surround yourself with positive people, and positive environment.
When it comes to decision making, I have always been the weakest person with a weak will-power. Sometimes I think about my own self and then sometimes for others benefits. I decided to overcome the thing and realized that thinking about yourself first is not selfishness, this is just an act of self-care. I further realized that not all the decisions could be wrong neither can be right or going to affect others. So I need to stop underestimating myself and stop focusing on failures.
People believe that every person is replaceable, every person has a proper substitute. But what I experienced is, nobody is replaceable. How can you replace someone with whom you have spent countless beautiful moments? How can you replace someone with whom you have shared a lot of things, a lot of secrets? Can you replace feelings too, especially with someone new who has just got into your life with no loyal intentions?
Finding a better person, and finding a replacement are two different things, and very few people understand the difference, sadly! Perhaps, I have not explained the fact so well, but if you have gone through a replacement phase, you must get my point!
Let’s talk about friends, especially the ones who stay loyal behind your back. I find myself so lucky in this regard because I have actually got true and sincere friends. But sadly, I couldn’t stay loyal to them many times. I hid things, became dishonest and selfish which definitely not makes me a loyal friend. I learned, hiding things, showing fake concerns, discussing others, and hating anyone can never do a good to yourself, it only harms your inner peace; you may find a temporary self-satisfaction, but it couldn’t last longer and you ultimately find yourself in a messy situation.
Mistakes are part of our life, if you can’t mistake, you can’t learn something new. I made some terrible mistakes too. Every time I think about those mistakes, I feel pain in my heart. I found myself so weak that I couldn’t even take accountability for anything happened to me. The only thing that heals your inner self is, asking for forgiveness to others who you did wrong.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t gather the courage to do so and found myself again in a miserable situation. But later on, I realized I couldn’t change anything now. Things that meant to happen, happen! You can’t change the situation unless you have the strength to take accountability for your actions. I learned how to forgive, I learned how to ask for forgiveness and I learned why forgiveness matters a lot.
Don’t chase love, money or success, focus on your goals and rebuild your life. That was another healthy thing I learned in 2019, and yet the most powerful one. When something or someone is meant to be in your life, you won’t need to chase, they will automatically create their path. And that’s what happened to me right in the middle of this year and I couldn’t be happier than I am at this moment in life.
I am very grateful for all the love in my life, I find it everywhere and I feel it inside me.
Cheers to all the good memories, crazy times, laughter, and all the fun we had in 2019!
Let’s start a new chapter, a new beginning, a new adventure and a New Year!
Happy New Year!